review Girlvert 103

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Ody and mind are capable of all before turning thirty years old and now she's made it an authentic read for the rest of us to marvel at elevating the depravity and denial inherent in the pornographic arts to a singular literary experience James Fr Fascinating bookI've always been very liberal regarding porn and people who want to work in the sex industry Everybody has the right to choose what to do with their bodiesBut the interesting thing here is throughout the authors recounting of her experiences in porno she very much expresses that she was in charge the power lay with her she made all of the decisions And yet as you read it you realise how much this young woman has been raped and abused and forced into thingsBut because she 'loved' the abusers forcing her to do things it was 'okay' it seemed like it was 'her choice' and she was therefore fine with itI mean the catalogue of abuse when she's first getting into porn being egged on by her abusive controlling boyfriend who she loved and would do anything for including essentilaly being raped is really hard to read And it raised the uestion is it still rape if she gets a handful of money thrown down next to her afterwards? To which yes Of courseBut is it rape if the victim doesn't call it rape?And it really left me uestioning the nature of free will in all of this The author clearly thought she had free will and was acting under own agency and not that of her abusive boyfriends the abusive system the copious drugs and drink but do I think she had free will? I don't think I doSo whose world view wins out here? Was it abuse? Wasn't it abuse? I just don't know Longman Introductory Course for the TOEFL Test read for the Mustard Seed Magic rest of us to marvel at elevating the depravity and denial inherent in the pornographic arts to a singular literary experience James Fr Fascinating bookI've always been very liberal Sekrety ewolucji, kochania i swawolenia regarding porn and people who want to work in the sex industry Everybody has the Devils Gate right to choose what to do with their bodiesBut the interesting thing here is throughout the authors Die ewigen Toten (David Hunter, Band 6) recounting of her experiences in porno she very much expresses that she was in charge the power lay with her she made all of the decisions And yet as you Jane Goodalls Animal World read it you The Old Myers Place (Halloween, realise how much this young woman has been Portfolio Management Formula: Mathematical Trading Methods for the Futures, Options and Stock Markets raped and abused and forced into thingsBut because she 'loved' the abusers forcing her to do things it was 'okay' it seemed like it was 'her choice' and she was therefore fine with itI mean the catalogue of abuse when she's first getting into porn being egged on by her abusive controlling boyfriend who she loved and would do anything for including essentilaly being I Survived Swiss Boarding Schools raped is Leftover Dead (Trailer Park Mystery, really hard to Witcheskin read And it The Witches raised the uestion is it still A Year in the Merde rape if she gets a handful of money thrown down next to her afterwards? To which yes Of courseBut is it Jack Glass rape if the victim doesn't call it Splinter rape?And it Gilchrist: A Novel really left me uestioning the nature of free will in all of this The author clearly thought she had free will and was acting under own agency and not that of her abusive boyfriends the abusive system the copious drugs and drink but do I think she had free will? I don't think I doSo whose world view wins out here? Was it abuse? Wasn't it abuse? I just don't know

read & download ✓ eBook or Kindle ePUB Û Oriana Small

Girlvert

Proclaimed girl pervert Oriana Small AKA Ashley Blue a veritable artist at heart weaves through the intricacies of a decade in and out of the adult film industry love drugs and her own firebrand of what it means to live ecstatically From accolades A really intense raw account of Orianna's adventures in porn that is as hardcore as it gets There is a lot of human ugliness in this book and its not all from porn a lot of it involves romantic relationships As someone who appreciates the grotesue especially when it comes to sex and sadness I really enjoyed this book The ending with her and Dave Naz's love story is a bit rushed but a solid perusal of her blog will fill in the details about what's happened since they metOne major thing to dislike though was the constant hating on prostitutes and their assumed motivations for working in the sex industry Disrespecting other sex workers for their decisions and line of work is not a good look Censored really intense さくら荘のペットな彼女 9 raw account of Orianna's adventures in porn that is as hardcore as it gets There is a lot of human ugliness in this book and its not all from porn a lot of it involves The Art of Not Breathing romantic As Bees in Honey Drown relationships As someone who appreciates the grotesue especially when it comes to sex and sadness I Historic Hahns Peak really enjoyed this book The ending with her and Dave Naz's love story is a bit Cupcakes, Lies, and Dead Guys (Annie Graceland Mystery rushed but a solid perusal of her blog will fill in the details about what's happened since they metOne major thing to dislike though was the constant hating on prostitutes and their assumed motivations for working in the sex industry Disrespecting other sex workers for their decisions and line of work is not a good look

Oriana Small Û 3 summary

To agony GIRLVERT illuminates the surreality of a life lived beyond all comprehensionIf Hemingway had been a porn star this is how he would have written The Nervous Breakdown Oriana Small has pushed herself to the outermost extremes of what the b Frightening what the human body is capable of A sad look at the low self esteem of these 'stars' and the need to be completely off their heads on drugs to go through with what they do on camera Fascinating read Aromatherapy and the Mind read


10 thoughts on “Girlvert

  1. says:

    Let's talk about pornography It's come a long away baby And—oops—gotten some in your hair One thing's for sure it's certainly graduated from its niche status as the pastime of oily pervy Buddy Hackett types to become a load bearing column in the temple of our zeitgeist I mean who hasn't seen pornography these days? Are there any holdouts who have evaded that midnight urge to explore the perversities the internet has to offer? Even your grandmother has watched an interracial bukkake or two Just picture it Her eyes wide her mouth agape—she sets her needlepoint down Oh my gracious She mentally compares that bald muscular Shaka Zulu's penis to her dearly departed Earl's She didn't realize how deprived she'd been of big black cock all these many years Sure the war years instilled a sense of noble sacrifice in the 'Greatest Generation' but DPs are free And—at the risk of sounding grandiose—an inalienable rightPornography in other words has saturated our culture Every far off corner heretofore unvisited by the temptations of motion picture sex has been glazed with gelatinous day old yellowing spunk Thank you internet Your two greatest accomplishments thus far are online shopping and porn No longer must the aspiring masturbator slink into a brightly lit video store in Groucho Marx glasses and a trench coat and sneak into its depressing windowless back room to choose from an assortment of VHS box covers advertising breasts and splayed vaginas All of those tits and twats accosting you from every side begin to resemble faces—sneering at you heckling you Then the worst part after you've spent two and a half hours selecting the 'perfect' porn video to rent you must face the video store clerk for checkout Even if you surveyed the employees before venturing into the back room and determined them all thankfully to resemble Randy Spears you will proceed to the front inevitably to encounter a clerk who's the spitting image of your mom right down to embroidered holiday sweatshirt She will suint at the title you are checking out But no she can't make it out so she puts on her glasses that are on a chain around her neck Oh She uickly looks away She thought for a moment it was Patch Adams and was preparing to endorse your selection wholeheartedly But no This is Snatch Adams The judgment begins She can't uite look at you any except in a sidelong kind of way She involuntarily steps backward to free herself from your immediate surroundings She wouldn't literalize the thought into words but she has a vague irrational fear that herpes will leap from your body onto her face and suction themselves there And what's that? She even thinks she smells your gamey ball sweat now so she cringes and suirms—despite her attempts to remain committed to the customer service values that the Video Hut has instilled in her through training videos and mock check outs And wouldn't you know it? She can't find the video that goes with your ahem box She has to call the manager who— how can this be?—looks like Barbara Billingsley than Barbara Billingsley ever did After a determined lengthy search which has kept a line full of nuns and children waiting to check out their Veggie Tales videos the two women finally locate your desired video only to send you off into the night with an 'Enjoy your evening' that is thick with ironyBut times have indeed changed I wouldn't go so far as to say pornography in its vanilla varieties is mainstream but it's the dirty secret we all share with a conspiratorial wink Naturally this is the perfect time for a porn memoir like Girlvert by Oriana Small porn name Ashley Blue which doesn't sugarcoat the workaday life of hardcore porn stars and yet somehow at the same time manages to create an endearing sympathetic portrait of the protagonistA ualification is in order Although I believe pornography has become much acceptable as a fact of life I still believe porn stars themselves are largely regarded as disposable dubious characters who merely fulfill a necessary? role They might be entertaining in a train wreck sort of way but most people are uite content to relegate them to a much lower order of humanity Yes this attitude is hypocritical but I think it's still the norm We may watch porn with manic hand jacking relish but do we want to live next door to a porn star? Maybe not Ashley Blue makes no apologies for her career in porn As she chronicles the gang bangs the cream pies the double anal and the filmed choking she may express or less comfort with a particular position or scenario but any reservations are not generally based upon moral consideration but rather practicality or personal taste This isn't one of those books where we follow the wide eyed porn ingenue from her first on camera blowjob to her pained realization that her career in porn was a mistake But don't get me wrong; there's a lot of clearheaded insight here from Ashley Blue She does in fact mature and arrive at very honest and very real conclusions about her life thus far She doesn't regret porn but she does come to regret when she allowed herself to bullied by the ego and self interest of men both in relationships and in the business She also reflects on the negative role drugs have played in her life—countless lines of coke in addition to Ecstasy speed homemade crack et al—and realizes they've used her than she's used them In short Ashley Blue's insights are all of a piece relating as they do to a consecrated ambition to be in control of her life she fucks when and how she wants to; she doesn't let herself be dominated by guilt or oppressed by crazy boyfriends; and she makes a fateful decision about drugs but less in a pious evangelic way than in an emphatically pragmatic uest to be in controlI'm not going to lie Despite the ubiuity of porn these days this book contains graphic descriptions of sexual acts that many readers will be uncomfortable with And in some cases they won't be uncomfortable with them because they're genuinely uncomfortable with them; they'll be uncomfortable because they sense that they should be Thus the hypocrisy of the Porn Era rears its ugly head again Words are just words Acts are just acts It's the meaning and intent we ascribe to them that gives them real value I'm not saying that I am completely comfortable with the greater implications of gonzo porn or any porn for that matter—because I'm not—and frankly I don't need to be But Ashley Blue's Girlvert is a fascinating account of the industry from the perspective of a smart immensely likable woman who freuently makes us realize that it's not uite as black and white as the interracial double penetration scene would lead us to believePostscript I am posting this review on Independence Day Among the many freedoms we enjoy in this nation let's celebrate the freedom to film two men sticking their elephantine phalluses in a woman's anus at the same time while another man ejaculates on her face and a fourth man washes off the ejaculate with his urine This sort of thing may be offensive to you—in countless ways—but remember that freedom of speech and expression is valid only to the extent that we endorse it for people we passionately disagree with


  2. says:

    This is a difficult book to review because while I didn't like it I did learn a lot from it about the industry Sadly the book itself was a failure in many ways Starting off with the writing while the author is not without some talent in setting some scene and describing some pretty gross situations the fundamentals seem shaky Often this comes across as a blog describing a series of events and all the drugs that went into making them happen Too often she tries to show everything and the parade of physical and psychological abuse is never interspersed with appropriate context At the heart of the problem is that the story does not develop the characters do not grow the experience stop giving insight into anything It's a memoir without the necessary reflection to tie the pieces of life into a coherent wholeAnd therein lies the greater problem I think the narrator does not have enough self reflection to make this story worth than the sum of its parts It occasionally dips into the past psychological reasoning ethical dilemmas or philosophical uandaries about pornography however too often these come as asides or rhetorical uestions asked in the dark Oriana has a lot of trauma to deal with as well as a lot of joy but all I got out of it was an endless stream of drugs and disappointment Additionally the character portrays herself very passively throughout asserting most of the decisions were made by men in her life While this may be accurate it takes a way both personal responsibility but so an active protagonist I have read a great deal on torture and even people who spend years of their life dominated by others finds ways to perceive themselves as actors in their own livesThere's an incredible lack of empathy in this book and a vast amount of jealously which goes unaddressed She often speak poorly of prostitutes and a few pages later proclaims pornography as an art form but there is never reasoning or justification just blank assertions She also finds ways to criticize all other perverts Real Sex Types or too old which comes across as trying to act cool and assert dominance when a truly open person would be able to examine others and write them intelligently as oppose to group and dismiss them I found some parts of the book troubling not so much because they were disturbing but because they were ignored or celebrated She mentions her eating disorder but she also spends several pages celebrating it Also her risky driving is mentioned which bothers me as it is written as self destructive even though it could easily have led to the death of many innocent lives but she only discuss her car wrecks in passing What is most troubling however is the abrupt ending She spends 300 pages basically learning nothing from her experiences and saying as much and then kicks drugs and alcohol and marries someone and starts a wonderful life This needed examination Kicking drugs and alcohol is difficult A person who does this should discuss the struggle especially after pages and pages of repetitive scenes as it would add diversity and some sense of overcoming an obstacle Instead it is written in a way that makes it seem that the only reason it was possible was because she found another man I think this does her a disservice by undermining her own strength but it also makes it seem like she didn't actually change at all and that she can only improve if the person she is co dependent with wants her too If that is the case this is a very sad tale indeed


  3. says:

    A really intense raw account of Orianna's adventures in porn that is as hardcore as it gets There is a lot of human ugliness in this book and its not all from porn a lot of it involves romantic relationships As someone who appreciates the grotesue especially when it comes to sex and sadness I really enjoyed this book The ending with her and Dave Naz's love story is a bit rushed but a solid perusal of her blog will fill in the details about what's happened since they metOne major thing to dislike though was the constant hating on prostitutes and their assumed motivations for working in the sex industry Disrespecting other sex workers for their decisions and line of work is not a good look


  4. says:

    Frightening what the human body is capable of A sad look at the low self esteem of these 'stars' and the need to be completely off their heads on drugs to go through with what they do on camera Fascinating read


  5. says:

    Oriana Small is a big talent as a writer And one of great charm as well And it is unusual for me to find great charm in the world of Porn Nevertheless Girlvert is a journey into the heart of the valley San Fernando Valley to be exact the headuarters that is everything PornI used to work on Sherman Way in Reseda in the 80's and I would see many of the sex club workers porn actors and actresses as well as all the other by products of that field and era Boogie Nights captures that time place and period uite well and Girlvert also gives me a birds eye view of porn filming and living Although the world in the book takes place in the 21st Century it still seems very 80's like Some things never changeOriana Small is a porn actress who goes by the name of Ashley Blue and appeared in hundreds of films One becomes numb reading one sex act after another but the tedious aspect of such a life is so well developed by Small's talent as a memoir writer She is only 29 at the time of writing this book and yet wise way beyond her years In her glory period as a porn actress she was very much focused on the moment and the book comments on the need to stay stoned or in some sort of high What struck me interesting is that it can be any type of job where you have to perform and the strain of keeping that lifestyle or drug use up just to make it to the next day or even moment is a fascinating process Her lifestyle becomes bizarre in the sense that she couldn't fully see the big picture but the details were being focused but only for that moment or two Therefore due to the drinkingdrug input and just having a great deal of cash around the focus is only for the next 12 hours or soSmall specialize in doing all the hard core porn performances and her approach to doing these scenes are interesting in that she is always rebelling something out of her past Her family life was messed up and that is totally not out of the norm but she had to do something to make a mark on this world And at that time it was her talent to do porn And porn is an interesting medium because there is something else being played out besides the erotica or the erotic impulse The power shift between the partners being filmed or directed A lot of it is just to produce a product to sell but there is also an art to it as well But one can watch these films as a weird fantasy land where one acts out their sexualviolent impulses – or is it a world that is designed by the producersactorsdirector – or how much imput does it come from its viewersaudience? There is a mechanical aspect of porn that leaves me numb but then again may be the numb part is an aesthetic of some sortFor her Girvert film series she sees herself as as a performance artist Small has no regrets for the life she had lived and still does in a sense by working with her talented porn directorphotographer Dave Naz because she sees it as an uniue life experience This is not a book of woe but of a personal journey into an uniue and very specialized world Porn in general is boring but when you have a character you care about or find interesting or at times the way it's shot it is something else above the average viewing of bodies mixing together Also the design work on this book is top notch Its a beauty of a production and Oriana Small fits in pefectly with the elegence of the design As a writer I think we will read her works for many years to come


  6. says:

    I've read a number of these porn performer memoirs and they are a mixed bag This one was uite well written certainly better written than Insatiable Porn A Love Story for example However it was really difficult to read because the author goes in to extreme detail about many many degrading sexual acts Now I need a shower


  7. says:

    I wasn't sure how to rate this It's always hard for me to rate memoirs because it feels weird to evaluate such a personal story I admire and appreciate anyone who is willing to expose themselves by writing a book about their most personal experiences The actual story being told in GIRLVERT is pretty brutal I don't watch porn but for some reason I like to read porn memoirs I erroneously thought that this book was a feminist take on the porn industry I was wrong as hell The author specializes in super hardcore pornography that sounds degrading and physically and emotionally painful I struggled to understand how a woman could perpetuate the intensely negative view of women that her films exemplify Small says it's acting out rape or violence against women as fantasy as if that somehow justifies portraying characters who are abused so egregiously but I know there have to be people who take that subject matter at face value People who think all women like being handled roughly and demeaned in every way possible It scares me The author struck me as a very troubled person and while she asserts progress at the end of the book she attributes her positive changes to the influence of her husband Throughout the book Small is tremendously impacted by her relationships with men At the end this remains the case her husband just happens to be a better dude than the ones she was with previously I say again I am rather torn regarding rating this book I loathe the attitudes about women and their sexuality that I believe Small's specific genre of pornography perpetuates but I do respect her willingness to expose herself by writing a memoir Small sounds pretty screwed up and her films sound horrifying to me I don't like thinking about the fact that these movies even exist I wish they didn't GIRLVERT was interesting but reading it was painful


  8. says:

    Fascinating bookI've always been very liberal regarding porn and people who want to work in the sex industry Everybody has the right to choose what to do with their bodiesBut the interesting thing here is throughout the authors recounting of her experiences in porno she very much expresses that she was in charge the power lay with her she made all of the decisions And yet as you read it you realise how much this young woman has been raped and abused and forced into thingsBut because she 'loved' the abusers forcing her to do things it was 'okay' it seemed like it was 'her choice' and she was therefore fine with itI mean the catalogue of abuse when she's first getting into porn being egged on by her abusive controlling boyfriend who she loved and would do anything for including essentilaly being raped is really hard to read And it raised the uestion is it still rape if she gets a handful of money thrown down next to her afterwards? To which yes Of courseBut is it rape if the victim doesn't call it rape?And it really left me uestioning the nature of free will in all of this The author clearly thought she had free will and was acting under own agency and not that of her abusive boyfriends the abusive system the copious drugs and drink but do I think she had free will? I don't think I doSo whose world view wins out here? Was it abuse? Wasn't it abuse? I just don't know


  9. says:

    Being human is an inherently ugly and attractive ordeal Pornography is an inherently ugly and attractive occupation So why is Oriana Small the only seasoned insider to have the ovaries to tell it like it is in the sugarcoated wasteland of wannabe Hollywood glamour pap andor tunnel visioned remorse sans responsibility after school special isms that so many other forays into pornographic memoir have produced?Because she's human and isn't afraid to admit it she has needs and desires that are sometimes conflicting she had a job like any other job at times unlike any other for most of us sometimes better sometimes worse she dared to dip her toe into something so taboo that 90% of the public opinion about it is hypocritical she's a badass a wonderful writer a realist not solely for the sake of solipsism but better yet using subjective insight to offer us objective hindsight out of the sauce of life her own particular spoonful so we unschooled andor fearful andor innocent inuisitive minds on the sidelines and the harbors of solitude can have a most holistic taste and perhaps someday offer her back our own little bound volume of guilt and joyThis is a very good book Honest raw fun shocking sad brutal sweaty bad in many moments sweaty good in others a human story that transcends its subject matter simply because it is so monumentally bare in all of its aspirations trappings glory and Listen to me this is a fascinating human story Come at it as such even if you're a pervert Cheers Oriana


  10. says:

    I was really surprised by this book I picked it up because it is the first book from a new publishing company I'm interested in run by a guy I've got a lot of respect for who used to book the author events at one of my favorite bookstores But I wasn't expecting muchI've read a couple of pornstar memoirs before and they were pretty much as expected badly written dumb faux sexy self serving dishonest or sickeningly redemptive This was none of those things It was honest in a remarkable straightforward very frank way I almost wrote painfully honest but that would be incorrect There were moments that made me flinch but the author seems so well adjusted at least now finally in her treatment of her life so firmly settled into an understanding and acceptance of herself that it was amazingly unpainful uite the opposite The level of detail that is matter of factly presented is unlike anything I've read before Every single scene is complete with gory detail emotional personal historic and even socio sexual political context And it is very well written There is a hard earned wisdom that shines through in this book I really hope it isn't a one off and that she moves on to subjects beyond memoir