The Riptide Ultra Glide (PDF)

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Oodness of our hearts Helping them how Out of THE JAMS WE VE GOTTEN THEM INTO IT S jams we ve gotten them into It s polite And Serge is nothing if not polite Just make sure you re polite as well or Serge may be forced to pay a little visit to the Home Depot Take this scenario that you ve probably xperienced yourself a woman is holding up the line at the customer service desk because instead of telling the clerk her problem she s yakking on her cell phone Serge tapped the woman on the shoulderShe turned around Into the phone Hold on a second some jerk She looked up What I couldn t help but overhear he said Because I was placing my ar real close trying to overhear My name is Serge Storms and I wander from town to town helping people I don t do it for the thanks just the satisfaction of seeing a person tearfully realize that someone lse out there truly cares But how do I help you ask By sharing invaluable pointers that will revolutionize your life Could be as simple as which technical college fits your strengths or a slight fashion correction that will land you the big promotion Friends and relatives could asily do the same but they d be jealous of your success In your case I ve already customized my program to pinpoint verything that s holding you back from the cover of Fortune Ready You shouldn t spend so much time on the phone if your re shaped like a hippo Serge stepped back with a giant grin An astonished gasp How dare you Because I care said Serge And if that tube top ver gives way you re going to kill at least five people Ah if real life were only like this The plot Does It Even Matter It it ven matter It something about fake Oxycontin clinics Throw in a sweet couple of laid off teachers from Wisconsin who are having the worst vacation En plein coeur ever and you ve got yourself a book As an added bonus Coleman Serge s perpetually baked sidekick attains a cult like following when his visage appears on the cover of High Tides magazine Florida stoners in dazed droves begin to recognize him and beg for nuggets of his drug fueled wisdom Coleman who s normally dumber than a bag o hammers becomes suddenlyrudite when discussing his favorite subject If you ve secured some primo shrooms or peyote buttons select the type secured some primo shrooms or peyote buttons select the type sunscreen that has an amphibious moisturizing agent which retards porous The Bookshop on the Shore excretion hence retaining the psychoactive ingredient for a prolonged and potent ride Yeah What him says Funnough uick read with gobs of Floridiana and a touch of Wisconsiniana Bonus points for mentioning the 2011 protests Lots of plot twists and creative ways of Dance Real Slow eliminating bad guys The Serge Storm books used to be fantasticallyntertaining The last few The Art of Memoir especially When Elves Attack and Riptide Ultra Glide were just phoned in junk Dorsey who hasntertained me for a decade The Day Christ Was Born: The True Account of the First 24 Hours of Jesus's Life either needs to put Serge to rest or come up with some new ideas If younjoyed the Dexter phenomenon the books or show Serge A Storms is right up your alley. Ke they can't ven take a bus Too bad the police are no help They're intimidating than the criminalsStranded and alone Pat and Barb need someone to rescue themSomeone to show them a bright spotSomeone to make the vildoers darkening the good name of the Sunshine state paySomeone who has the courage the knowledge and the all out crazy to make these nice Midwestern tourists believe in Florida againThat someone is who lse Serge StormsWelcome to Paradise. ,


The Riptide Ultra GlideThe Riptide Ultra Glide A Novel Serge Storms by Tim DorseyWhat should be on veryone s lips is not What s up with Florida but rather what is up with this series I have always loved this series for its irreverent look at life and death Looking at life through Serge and Coleman s PostgreSQL Server Programming - Second Edition eyes has always been such a pleasure These books have always reminded me of Carl Hiaasen s books but nuttier a tad cruder I have always loved them but lately they seem to be of a mishmash of crime and history than anythinglse and with The Riptide Ultra Glide you don t Integrity Restored: Helping Catholic Families Win the Battle Against Pornography even get a satisfactorynding I really tried not read this with a tight butt attitude butThis book is less about the usual ingenious killings of those that might need killing and the usual fish out of water vacationers and about unnecessary swearing gratuitous drugs and a level of vindictiveness that I don t remember from previous books We have a drug war going on among other things a war that is between the so called Kentucky Mafia or the Hillbilly Mafia and the Mexicans We have vacationers from Wisconsin who are so na ve and sweet that you may just want to knock them upside their heads and we have various stoners following Coleman around wanting you may just want to knock them upside their heads and we have various stoners following Coleman around wanting autographThe vacationers Pat and Barb have just been laid off from the school they teach at and they feel they deserve a vacation before they go on to the next phase of their lives and the next job They make reservations in a part of Florida that they have not researched and haven t been to since the husband Pat was six years old and they did no research on the motel they are staying at The vacation deteriorates uite uickly And it just keeps on going down hill fast to the point that you really need to suspend your disbelief to a point that you may feel uncomfortable withWhat we do not have is very much of a story which is somewhat normal for Tim s books However I have never seen anything in his repertoire as disjointed and slap dash as this novel The book really doesn t ven get really interesting until you hit about 75% mark Perhaps I have just grown out of my liking of overly wacky novels with characters that just burst from the pages but I don t think soARC supplied by publisher After Electric Baracuda the Serge A Storms stories are just not on the same funny scale for me It took me well over half way into this book before I was really interested in finishing it There were only a couple laugh out loud moments this time around 3 out of 10 I m still rolling through Florida with Serge and Coleman this is the 7th book for me what a ride I love revisiting places I ve been Florida City Key Largo and the Caribbean
Club Scary Biker Bar And 
scary biker bar and Inlet Lighthouse The plots are almost secondary I like the travelogue All the stuff Trip Advisor misses Because it s a reality show You have to fake a lot of stuff I pick up Tim Dorsey s Serge A Storms series for a nice diversion usually in. New York Times Bestselling AuthorBrilliant Floridaphile bighearted psychopath and chipper tour guide Serge Storms takes a vacationing Midwestern couple they're so nice on the ride of a lifetime in this insanely funny adventure from New York Times bestselling author Tim DorseyNow that they have some unexpected free time freshly unemployed Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougal are going to treat themselves to a modest vacation in sunny Florida Sitt.

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Warm sweaty weather and near water There are almost 20 BOOKS AS OF NOW IN THIS SERIES AND books as of now in this series and are good some are not 16 in the series The Riptide Ultra Glide is not the worst I have ncountered but it is not all that great ither This is not the worst I have ncountered but it is not all that great The Road From Home: The Story Of An Armenian Girl either This can be very funny Mr Dorsey still has the knack for dry verbal humor and his dialogue for Serge can be hysterical Truly laugh out loudBut in this novel Dorsey does a lot of telling and almost no showing A mark of weak writing As mentioned the dialogue is the book s strong suit the narrative however is not good The plot for the text is flimsy and does not hold up for the book s length and the last 100 pages prove this as they are significantly weaker than the previous 194I read this series for what it is and thusven when I ncounter a stinker I am not all that upset And I got some good advice as the protagonist advises someone in the book Wear sunscreen don t do heroin I actually got sunburned while reading this book Should have listened Next time Another insanity filled story from the warped mind of Tim Dorsey This one wasn t as good as some of his previous ones but I did like the last 50 or so pages a lotThere are 3 story lines that ventually intersect There I did like the last 50 or so pages a lotThere are 3 story lines that ventually intersect There Serge and Coleman running around Florida with the idea of creating a new reality show There is a very nice couple from Wisconsin who were recently laid off from their teaching jobs remember the Wisconsin governor who wanted to kill all the unions And then we have 2 drug running groups that are competing over scam painpill clinics Each of the stories has some humor to it but they are all a bit haphazard I felt like I was jumping around between them without any continuity There were times I was thinking This stuff is crazy but it might actually happen in Florida My favorite of the subplots was how Coleman was revered as a king because he and a friend were on the front cover of a version of High Times He was sought out for his drug culture wisdom and during those scenes he was very coherent and sounded xtremely intelligentThe book got good when the 3 stories merged Serge and Coleman got caught up with the drug gangs who were after the Wisconsin couple because of a few cases of mistaken identity Everything and anything you can imagine happened The Hannah Montana: The Movie ending was a bit of a twist almost reminiscent of a Harlan Coben book Strange finding oneself rooting for a serial killer priding himself on the virtue he doesn t possess patience Some gore language and sexual reference How many times have you heard the clich I ve lived in New York City my whole life but have never been up the Empire State Building or Born and raised in Possum Shoals but never seen that woman s goiter shaped like Wayne Newton I mean to change all that Show people the possibilities of what s right under their nosesach week by moving from town to town getting into jams meeting strangers lending them help from the Ing poolside at a pretty motel they're going to drown their sorrows in those fruity umbrella drinksBut the motel they arrive at isn't uite the pastel paradise they saw on the web Refused a refund and tight on money they have no choice but to stay Being Midwesterns they'll make the best of a bad situation Except when bad goes to worse They're robbed and verything is gone including the ID they need to get on a plane and go back home Plus they're so bro.